I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

A Fantasy Takes the Form of a Fantasy: Porn Parodies


by Joe Copplestone
Jan. 3, 2014

I would always wait till my Mum and Dad were queuing at the counter to pay for a video at the rental place before I made my way past the Action section and crouched down between the foreign films and the tail end of Horror. It was in this crouched position that I was able to can the titles of the films kept on the bottom shelf, where the porn was kept. It was here that I first laid eyes on a Porn Parody, that is a tongue-in-cheek porn version of a well known film or character. I think it was Lesbian Gladiators or maybe The Erotic Witch Project, I don’t know for sure. This collection brings together some of the best examples of the genre, including a great number of works by Porn Parody maestro, Axel Braun, a man with his own imprint, Vivid Superhero, just for letting this self-confessed comic book geek spice up the sex lives of the supermen and women of comic book fame. The genre was born with Batman XXX: A Porn Parody, a movie with a big budget for a porno and for which he went to extreme ends, even going as far as to find the same fabrics and dyes used in the Adam West TV show. The Kubrick of porn perhaps? And he’s prolific, prolific in the way creators should be, prolific like Bukowski, prolific like Miike. The film itself is hard to describe with the lexicon of typical film reviews, a stunningly ersatz Batman, sexed up, but still fully capable of summoning the camp charm of the original show. I just kept thinking that maybe Tarantino could really blossom in the porn parody genre.

Porn film's relation with narrative has always been a troublesome one. The stars of porn films are picked for their ‘performance’ skills rather than their crafted verisimilitude and ability to make scripted dialogue seem spontaneous and natural. The plot in porn films is a nod of the head to the audience, a minor admission that they need to frame the sex in some manner, perhaps, and that the audience needs on some level to acquaint watching porn twith something else at least on some level. Since narrative, naturally, occupies a secondary or maybe even lower role within these films it is natural that given the chance they should renounce originality entirely and use recycled frames, famous skeletons around which they can stretch the necessary fucking. But what a strange thing. I can imagine the demand to see Batman, Superman, or maybe even The Hulk fucking. Indeed my father makes his money selling 25mm toy soldiers the bestsellers being the aptly named Babes with Guns so from an early age I’ve been aware of the sexual appetites of geekish types. But The Simpsons? The Smurfs? There are stranger things out there, for sure: anyone who wants to know the depths of the special relationship between sex and pop culture that the internet has fostered need look to further than Encyclopaedia Dramatica and the now defunk?? 4chan, the birthplace, amongst other internet phenomena, of anonymous everyone’s favourite hackers!

But furry porn and fanfic are surely destined to remain hidden in these cyberspace shadows, guilty hobbies, somewhere between cosplay and cottaging, with a tad of larping just to make sure they never escape the underground. But these parodies are big-budget time-consuming affairs. To put it this way, there is someone out there, a man or woman, who was paid, perhaps handsomely (I for one like to think so, because these are after all First World western productions, artefacts of the ‘civilised world’) to re-apply coloured body paint to the genitalia of the cast of The Simpsons and The Smurfs after they were smudged clean by the marathon sex scenes. What a scene, what an amazing vignette of modern culture, something like a pantomime, or like the base humour that was purged from Shakespeare by the prudish Victorians, a reflexive Californian Lysistrata! Sun-baked bodies, gym-subscription muscles, genetically-modified beef-infused sexual organs, the chief satirists of the future, revellers in Olympian smut!

Anyway I invite you to gaze at the audacity of it, an industry in its prime, a genre on the rise. Although it's the painted madness of The Simpsons and The Smurfs that caught my attention most, I have to admit Super Mario also made its way into my subconscious, its absurdity only slightly diminished by the fact that a live action Mario already exists.

The porn parody is, like all art, a mirror in which we can see some reflection of society and ourselves, in which our strangest sexual fancies can be indulged. I once read an article about the rise of sex motivated serial killers in 1960’s and 1970’s America; the article hypothesised that this was related to the fact that a generation of men growing up in the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s had only been able to access pulp novels and magazines as masturbation material. The illustrations in these magazines and books often depicted women in peril, being choked or assaulted, tied up or caged and that through this a certain part of the population had bound themselves to becoming aroused only through similar situations. Perhaps porn parodies are the result of similar photosynthesis: indeed in writing this article I was reminded of the strange attraction I felt for many TV and movie characters (animated and not) long before I was really aware of what this attraction was. Maybe then, the porn parody is the obvious result of a society in which pop culture has become so overwhelming, so ever-present that it has fundamentally altered our base sexual urges, turning us into strange creatures with a hunger for blue and yellow sex and an unrepressable urge to see Batman in the nude.

Joe Copplestone is a 23 year old ginger brummie who hasn't yet got over that angry young man stage, he writes whatever takes his fancy for Brain Wash and his half formed poetry and stories can be found on his blog and have been featured in 3:AM Magazine and Word Riot amongst others, you can email him at jcopplestone@googlemail.com, he always needs distracting from the novel he's "writing" oh and a short film he wrote Fifty is available to be liked on facebook now!