I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

Vegan Black Metal Chef Decapitates Lettuce Heads

by Kollin Holtz
Jan. 10, 2017

Vegan Black Metal Chef is pretty incredible. It comes on the heels of the hit show Metalocalypse, but aside from being metal, they have very little in common. I think my favorite parts are the ones like in episode one where he accidentally adds too much of one ingredient proclaiming, “I hate it when that happens.” It combines two things, veganism and black metal simply because they are the passions of web series creator and star Brian Manowitz. Though veganism and black metal are not typically associated with one another, Manowitz describes his inspiration originating from a need to share the message that being vegan, and eating good tasting food do not need to be mutually exclusive. His videos depict him chopping ingredients on the counter, or “altar” as he likes to call it, with his array of outlandish, unconventional metal knives that would look out of place in a regular kitchen, but seem to be right at home in his homemade Black Metal kitchen. It should be noted that he does not exhibit the forced, or shriek-ish nature many of your vegan friends may have exhibited towards you or others, but preaches that being vegan is something you need to come to on your own.

He addresses the moral side on his website that he finds the mistreatment of animals wrong, and that the practice of caging chickens so they live, “…among mountains of shit,” is a “darker hell than one even I could ever imagine.“ He also addresses the mystic side of the issue, essentially saying that what goes around comes around, and expands by posing the question that if there is less suffering the world, doesn’t that make the world a better place? With all the cruelty and violence already against our fellow man, is it not a comforting thought that some of that cruelty that exists may be eliminated by making the choice to eat fruits, veggies and nuts as opposed to animals from an industrial ranch?

I myself am not a vegan, I’m not even vegetarian, I only try to get my filling of fruits and veggies a few times a week, but that’s progress, right? If you are interested in expanding your intake of fruits and/or vegetables, then do it! It can be hard. Sometimes there isn’t enough time to cook for yourself and you’ll go out to eat, and you’ll order some vegetables and depending on where you live, they might be overdone. They usually are, especially when I go visit the family in the Midwest. This is why I hated vegetables for so long: they’re steamed to death, put on your plate as an afterthought, come off as largely flavorless, and when they’re so well cooked they give you terrible compost farts. Anyway, if you want to try it, please don’t go to some diner that has a poster on the wall proclaiming “Beef! It’s What’s For Dinner!” and you’ll likely have a better experience. For the best results, check out Black Metal Vegan Chef’s videos on Network Awesome, and make a vegan dish for yourself. His Pad Thai looks pretty great, and if you’ve never had Pad Thai then I would suggest, to no end, you give his recipe a try.

Weather you like Black Metal or not, the videos are informative, and even if you are less familiar with the culture than others, you may still pull out the humor in his signature black and metal clothing worn as he smashes peanuts into a fine dust. Manowitz does everything for the videos by himself, he films, plays and records all the instruments (except for synth drums), lays down vocals, and of course, does all the cooking for his series. Maybe you don’t like veganism, or the very idea of it repulses you for some reason…whatever. You do what you like. If the idea of a person taking a stand against something they see as a wrong in the world appeals to you though, perhaps it’s time to take a step back and reconcile the two ideas warring inside your head right now. Remember, it’s not something you “have” to try, no matter what your vegan friends might tell you. Dip your toe in. Test the water out. There’s no need to make anything, how about just starting with Black Metal Vegan Chef’s videos just to see how it goes? If you like what you see, stay tuned, check out his other videos, or even do some research of your own if you like. The information’s out there for the taking, and if you’re not sure of where to start, how about checking out Brian Manowitz’s own website here where has an abundance of information regarding his own philosophy and other educational interviews regarding his lifestyle. Eating in such a fashion may yield surprising results. In the words of the Chef, “Many other people tell me all the time though about how much better they feel when going vegan. This is usually from the standpoint of them either knowing that they did not feel good already... or just learning that they did not feel very good (and they did not even realize it...it was normal for them to feel crappy).” That being said, there’s no doubt that it could make us all a little healthier, whether that’s with the outside fat, or the inside fat that’ll kill ya. I guess that’s pretty metal though.



Kollin Holtz is a comedian, writer, and filmmaker living in a closet under the stairs in San Francisco, CA. Check out his website,www.kollinholtz.com for updates on his shows, and his podcast “Closet Talk With Kollin Holtz.” You may also follow him on twitter @KollinHoltz if ya fancy.